I must try harder to make my blog more interesting. I have a vacation next week and this will give me time to think about it. What prompted this is that I realized that all of the replies to my blog posts were ads for viagra and similar messages! What a stupid waste of a good concept! I realize that this is all automated, but still, I wish I could just reach out and say "all you spammers - atay away from here!"

Honk if you agree!

Money can't buy happiness

I was talking on the ham radio this morning to an old timer who grew up in Chicago. He was telling me how his father worked as a furniture buyer for a chain of large department stores and then became a stockbroker when he lost his job during the depression. It made me think about my own childhood.
 

My father worked as a car painter for a Chevrolet-Buick dealership. He probably didn’t make as much money as a furniture buyer or a stockbroker, but as a child growing up, I never had to do without anything important. I had my baseball bat and glove and my little red wagon. One of my uncles gave me a bicycle. We weren’t “dirt poor,” but I’m not sure if we qualified for “middle class.”

 
I married a woman that was also raised without a lot of available money. As we raised a family, we set out to try to provide for our children, but with four children, it was very tough. I guess I might have discovered why I was an only child! To this day, I have always felt bad that we were unable to give our children a car for high school graduation, nor could we provide them with a college education. Thinking back, I sincerely hope that they had everything important, as I did, but I’m not sure that I did as good a job as my own dad when it comes to this.
 

Thinking back on my childhood, I realize now that my experience was a lesson that money can’t buy. Without knowing, I learned many good things, such as “money isn’t everything,” and “the best things in life are free” and all of those other sayings that people without money toss around. All my life, I have wanted “things” and I felt bad when I could not have them. I really did OK and had everything I need, but I didn’t realize that I was greedy and materialistic. Once I realized this, I was able to change my ways. Today I realize that there are not many things in life that I really need, and if I am ever able to get something nice that I have been longing for, the feeling of accomplishment and reward is much greater than ever before.

 

As silly as it might sound, I am now glad that I was not spoiled and pampered as a child because it taught me many lessons. It just took me a lifetime to realize what these lessons were, and now that I finally do understand, I am thankful. Now there is but one thing I wish, and that is to hear that my children were lucky enough to also be instilled with this wisdom. Every generation always hopes to provide for their own children better than they themselves were brought up, but I’m not aware that this happens in many cases, so perhaps we are going about this the wrong way. Perhaps we should have been saying “I hope to raise my children the way that I was raised – to realize that there is more to live than material possessions, and that our efforts should be not to acquire wealth, but to acquire wisdom, humility and a caring disposition toward mankind.

That youthful feeling of anticipation

Have you ever wondered what happened to that “feeling” you had when you were young, teenage and twenties? That magical feeling where everything was new, exciting, and an adventure, where sometimes the outcome was good and other times it was bad? The joy and the heartbreak, the celebration and the disappointment? The dreaming, the desires, the unanswered questions?

I have come to the realization that that feeling that we all fondly remember as we grow older was “anticipation.” There were so many things that we all needed to experience before we could move on to the next step. What does it feel like to hold a member of the opposite sex in your arms at your first school dance? To kiss? To smoke a cigarette? To be in a high school play? To be disciplined by your school teacher or principal?

Now that we are older, these feelings are remembered when triggered by songs that we listened to in that era, in dreams, through pensive thought, by seeing a photo of a classmate in the news or on the Internet, through TV commercials, by watching an old TV show rerun or by seeing an old music group perform in a late night commercial to sell you a collection of sounds from your youth.

What ever happened to that magical feeling? Why do we no longer ever feel that way? The answer is because once we have experienced all of these things, there is nothing left to anticipate! We have experienced love and hate, acceptance and rejection, accomplishment and failure, good health and illness. We have experience working at jobs, buying a car or a house, marriage, childbirth, raising a family, travel, hobbies. The only thing that remains a mystery is death. With possible exceptions, all else has been experienced in one form or another and to various extents and results.

Oh, if we were only able to retain that feeling throughout our whole life. Perhaps some people do. Perhaps that is what makes some people exceptional in one way or another – poets, authors, actors, writers, teachers. I can’t imagine how anyone is able to retain this feeling once there is nothing left to anticipate. The memory of this feeling exists within us all. Some call it nostalgia, some call it melancholy. It comes to us often as we think of past events, or is triggered by a postcard announcing a class reunion or an obituary in the newspaper. There is a popular saying, “If you don’t learn from history, then you are bound to repeat it.” Ah, if only we could, but the sad part is that we have learned from our past. Each of these events has molded us into who we are today. Our past has shaped our beliefs, the way we act, the way we think, and the way we respond.

When this feeling comes to you, embrace it. Linger with it. Reminisce and enjoy. And most importantly, do all you can to assist and support others around you that are going through this for the first time – your family, your neighbors, your friends, your students. Become part of their memories, and hopefully, become a positive influence in the shaping of someone’s life and the molding of someone’s success!

July 2010 Update

It's been almost 18 months since I added anything to my blog. I've been a little more busy with my blog for guitar players and musicians, but on my personal blog here I haven't kept up because I didn't think anyone would be interested. If anyone is actually reading this thing, please leave a comment or send me an email to tsmerk@sdccd.edu. I'd love to hear more from you. I've been able to reconnect and keep up with many old friends on Facebook. Make sure you connect with me on Facebook so we can keep in touch. I give frequent updates on Facebook.

Now, what has happened since my last blog update? Well, we finished buying all the furniture we need for the new house. It's hard not to end up with too much "junk." Peg and I have our little "collections" going. Peggy is collecting British tea cups and saucers, and I have once again formed a nice collection of German lidded beer steins. I also have a few knifes as before, but nowhere near the collection I once had. I've got a nice set of books in my office. The recording studio is almost complete. I have a BOSS digital 8-track recorder instead of computer software, and a few good microphones and accessories. I record a lot of the tracks directly on my new Yamaha keyboard, then add the rest of the instruments and vocals on the BOSS.

I had my carpal tunnel surgery as scheduled, and it was successful. About a month after that, I also had some surgery on my nose to help me breathe better. It was painful and bloody, but it helped a little - not much, just a little. I think if I had it to do over, I would not have the nose surgery. Too much misery for the little bit of relief I got.

It's been a year since I taught my guitar classes, so I'm going to teach a two week "refresher" course for folk guitar and also for classical guitar beginning next week.

I joined a new band last November, and it's turning out to be quite successful. We released a new CD in May, and I am more pleased with this than anything else I have ever recorded. I think this CD has the drive to promote us into the major concert circuit, but I'm not sure everyone else in the band is willing to put aside all they have going on and follow a career as a professional musician, so if nothing else, we’re probably the best country gospel rock band in San Diego County. We're nominated for "best gospel band" for the San Diego Music Awards 2010. The name of the band is "Rightside," and our website is http://rightsideband.com.

I'm still teaching Business Information Technology for the San Diego Community College District. My current job site is at Mid City Continuing Education Center in City Heights. We've been very strongly affected by the budget cuts at the State level. A lot of classes are closing, and there is no money for books or supplies. I can already see that this is having an impact on enrollment. Our state government in California is so screwed up, it sickens me to have to wait 8 more years before I can retire and move to a more sensible state. I've learned not to complain about anything because it never does any good.

Well, thanks for following my update. Please leave a "comment" and let me know you're out there. And don't forget to check my web sites tomsmerk.com, rightsideband.com and www.grossmont.edu/tomsmerk.

February 2009 Update

Things are almost back to normal. Gee, it's great to be home! The furniture arrived (all except 2 chairs that we still have to pick up) right after New Year's Day. What an awful experience dealing with this furniture. They are the rudest, most obnoxious people I have ever met. They are not from this country, and continue to do business the way they were brought up. They have no understanding of how our country was built on the fundamentals of honesty and trust. I would slander their name all over the Internet, but I've decided instead just to report them to the Better Business Bureau because they gave me an idea for a new book I have begun writing. It will be titles "What ever happened to 'The customer is always right?': A guide to customer service." It's getting so hard to shop for products or services lately. I think the book will be a best seller!

We got the spa set up. We ran out of insurance money and had to take out a loan. Ouch! I hate making payments, but we sure love sitting in the spa at night and looking up at the stars. The night sky is amazing where we live 40 miles out of the city as you begin to climb the mountains. We also enjoy just sitting on our patio swing at night.

I finally made arrangements to have my carpal tunnel damage repaired with surgery. I'll have that done on March 13. I don't have a lot of things going on that would require extensive use of my right hand, so this is a good time to have the work done. I want to be well by Spring so I can play for some outdoor concerts.

In addition to my full-time job teaching computer and business applications and skills, I have been teaching two guitar classes at night. The new semester, which began last week, was so successful that we're going to open up a third class to accommodate all the new students. I enjoy teaching guitar, but three nights a week is too much for me, so I'm going to give two of the classes to another teacher.

Keep in touch, and please feel welcome to post some comments so that I will know that there are people out there reading these ramblings!

November 2008 Update

Life is finally beginning to return to normal. We lost out house last year on October 21, 2007. The new house was finally completed on October 20, 2008, ready for us to move in on the 21st, exactly one year later. It took us longer to move that I had anticipated, so we didn’t actually make it back home until October 29. It is now November 18, 2008, and we are still living out of boxes, trying to find a place for everything, and hanging pictures. We are still waiting for most of our furniture to arrive. It will be easier to complete the move when we have drawers to put things into. We had our furniture custom made in India from solid rosewood. As a longtime guitarist, I am aware of the lasting qualities of Indian rosewood – that’s what most of the fine guitars are made from. We are waiting for a dining table with chairs and a bench, bed frame with headboard and footer, 2 night stands, dresser and mirror, chest of drawers, living room coffee table and 2 end tables, dining room hutch, curio cabinet, and a DVD and VCR cabinet. Hopefully the furniture should arrive soon and we can put an end to this chapter in our life. By the way, you can see the furniture on picasaweb.google.com/tsmerk if you really want to. They sent us photos before it got loaded on to the ship.

Our outdoor spa should arrive tomorrow. It is a nice large unit with music, lights and a waterfall. I’m all ready for a nice soak! The pool arrived last month, but we decided not to install it until next spring. It is a 20 foot above ground “Tuff Pool” with all of the accessories. It will be a lot of fun, but right now there are not that many warm evenings left to keep the pool water warm enough to use.

The trip to visit our children and grandchildren in July was wonderful. No problems getting there or getting back, I was in good health this trip, we saw a lot of interesting sights and had a really great time. I really like the Kentucky and Tennessee area. We saw the country’s largest (in size) church in Louisville, saw the Gibson Guitar factory and went to the company showroom where you could play and Gibson or Epiphone guitar (and of course I played a few), we visited Daniel Boone’s grave site, my favorite vintage guitar shop, Gruhn Guitars in Nashville, and a lot of other sites of local or historic interest.

It is so nice to be home that I don’t even mind the extra hour each direction of driving to and from work. It is a nice scenic drive, and it’s always so nice to arrive home. Living in the rural mountain area is like coming home to a campground, only no quite so rustic. I used to love to sit out on the swing at night and listen to the sounds of nature under the big, bright starry sky. We bought a swing at a yard sale for $20, so we are able to once again enjoy this. It is so nice to be home!

July 2008 update

It has been five months since I last posted in my blog. Since then, I have become less optimistic about the completion of our new house. We originally expected to be moving back home at the end of May, then that got pushed to the end of June, then to the end of July, and now I’m hearing that it might even be August before we see the majestic beauty of Dulzura, California once again! Why can’t contractors realize their limitations and schedule work accordingly. Do they honestly think hat a client is going to say “go ahead an build the other houses first, I know you’re busy, and I don’t mind waiting?”

Peg and I have been buying so many things for the new house that we no longer have room to move around the apartment. Since my last communication, I have acquired some new guitars. I picked up a nice 1966 Epiphone Riviera thinline electric guitar which will be great for blues and smooth jazz, and I met a local luthier, Dan Altilio, who owns Top Gear Pro Shop in La Mesa. I bought two guitars that he had hand made, a steel string acoustic electric thinline guitar and a nylon string acoustic electric thinline guitar. I also purchased a 1967 Fender Twin Reverb guitar amplifier from a store in Oregon. I took it to Top Gear, and their tube amp expert, Tim Pinnell, worked his magic on it. I would now put it up against any other amplifier in the world for tone and versatility.

We also bought a vintage farm/construction tractor, a Case 430 from the early or mid 1960’s. It is equipped with a bucket loader on the front and a gannon box scrapper with ripper teeth on the back. If you want to check it out (although I don’t know why you would) there are some photos at picasaweb.google.com/tomsmerk.

I ordered some custom accessories for our 2008 Dodge Charger, and next week it will be wearing a new rear deck spoiler wing and a new hood scoop. The Charger has always been a sporty car, and this will help its appearance a lot.

We visited our youngest daughter, Georgette, on her 22nd birthday, June 21, at her home in Phoenix, Arizona. While we were there the temperature stayed at around 117 degrees!

Peggy and I will be traveling to Kentucky on July 22 to attend the graduation of our daughter, Melody. She attended a community college studying medical office courses and hopes to work at a family practice office in Louisville. While we are there, we hope to visit a business associate of mine, Kelly Poelker, who lives in western Illinois near St. Louis, a 4-5 hour drive from Louisville. Kelly and I are getting ready to open an online business school. I have already written one course for the school and it will be available soon. We also hope to visit one of my favorite entertainment spots, Nashville, which is within driving distance from Louisville.

I’ll let you know more next month. See you then!